aiza_louise23

I’m Aiza. I’m 19 years of age and currently taking up Bachelor of Arts in Mass Communication specializing broadcasting in Lyceum of the Philippines University. I was born on August 29 year 1988 in Jaro, Iloilo City but I didn’t stay long there. When I was about 1 year old, we moved in Negros Occidental since my father was assigned there. He is an Army Officer in Philippine Military. Then, we moved in Sorsogon where my father bought a house and lot. When I started schooling, my dad decided that we should again move here in Manila because he wants us to have good education. So, I’ve finished my elementary and secondary here in Manila.
When I was in grade school, I was so active in class. I joined almost all the school activities. I was part of our school organ as news writer, drum and lyre where I play lyre, and various clubs in our school where I was assigned as officer. I was in the star section and I was studying hard. When I stepped in high school, I was also in the higher section. I was active too. I always participate during class discussions and always get high scores in our exam. I also became part of our school’s dance troupe. I really don’t know why I’m like that before. In fact, I don’t see myself as an intelligent and studious student. Now, I’m different. I hate extra curricular activities. I don’t like obligations like, I should attend meetings, I should be there in every events, and so on. I’m a little lazy now. I just read my notes the night before my exam. But good thing I still take down notes. It started when I reached 4th year high school. I quitted dancing and I started acting like I don’t exist in school. It seems like I felt tired of being active in class, of taking things seriously and responsibly. Unlike before, now, if I don’t find the subject boring, I just sit and listen to my teacher. But in my surprise, I’m still getting good grades and I never take home failing grades. That’s why my parents didn’t notice the changes I had. I don’t know why with just a snap of a finger I turned out to be a girl who doesn’t want to get tired, who wants to move on with her life without difficulty. I don’t want to think that I started being like this when I gained cool friends. Cool friends who just want to have fun and enjoy life and who look as if they don’t have any problems. I love the way they live their lives. I was easily influenced by them and for me there was nothing wrong about it. They are good friends and good persons too. But others think that having fun brings no good. My family thinks that way.
My family is a usual family. I have hardworking father, a mother, and 5 siblings. I am the middle child which some say the “problem child”. But I believe it’s not true. I neither bring problems nor gladness at home. What’s weird about me is the fact that what I am at home is not what I am outside when I’m with my friends. I’m not being plastic or pretending to be someone else. It’s just that I don’t want to disappoint my dad. I want him to see me as a good and responsible daughter. Besides, at home, they think I’m a good girl. A good girl who knows what’s right and what’s wrong, who follows the norm. So that’s what I’m showing them. I don’t want my parents to think that I’m a failure. I don’t want to disappoint them especially my dad. He’s a good, admirable, and respected man. I love my daddy so much. Sometimes they call me “daddy’s girl” because my dad is very nice to me. But I feel sad about the fact that I’m not that close to my dad, to my mom and my siblings. I don’t share secrets with them. I don’t share my problems and ask for their advice. I rather share it with my friends than my family. When I’m out with my friends, I’m talkative, funny and full of energy. I say what I want to say and do what I want to do. I feel free.
Maybe you’re wondering why I don’t talk so much about my mom. My mom and I are best enemies. I maybe exaggerating but for me that’s what we are. She scolds me everyday of my life and it appears like she hates me because I’m daddy’s favorite girl. She doesn’t want me to have things that I should have. I hate it when she gets mad at me whenever my dad gives me something. I do love my mom but I can’t refrain from getting mad at her. About my siblings, were all in good terms, though sometimes we have misunderstandings. I have two younger brothers, a “kuya”, and a sister who is the eldest.
Enough about my family let me say something about myself. I’m a girl who acts like a boy. I’m boyish but I am not lesbian. I just think that being a man is a lot easier than being a woman. I just feel more comfortable in acting like a boy. I love sports and games that can really lose all your energy. I rather watch a violent suspense movie than a love story. I appreciate the kind of music that boys enjoy. I prefer to wear “Chuck Taylor’s” shoes than “stilettos”. I just love being like me and I think acting like a lady is such a hassle. But my feminine side is still visible. Little sad things make me cry and little happy things make me laugh. I get really surprised every time someone says he or she thinks I’m snobbish. It happened many times. Maybe I just look like snobby but I am totally a friendly person. In fact I have lots of friends who see me as a funny, crazy and nice person. I do believe that there is God guiding and watching over us but I don’t believe in the Bible. In fact I tried to read the Bible but I could not really make myself believe in it. I’m a Roman Catholic. I don’t always go to church every Sunday but I do pray to God, thanking Him and asking for His guidance and mercy. Another thing I observed in myself is that I can easily be influenced by people’s idea. I change my mind easily. That’s why I’m not good in decision making. I often break down when it comes to solving my own problems. But I’m really good in giving advices to my friends. I’m afraid to be unsuccessful, to be jobless after I graduated. I took up Mass Communication because I want to serve our country by doing what people in the media industry do. I want to tell my fellow men the things that they need to know. I want to climb up in the mountains to find new things so people would know about it. I really want to do public service. I also want to make a meaningful movie that would touch people’s heart. At first, my dad wants me to go work abroad after I graduated. But I told him I don’t like there. I just think that I would not be happy living and working abroad. I also dreamed to become a dentist when I was a child. I don’t know why maybe because when I was little, I find dentists beautiful with white suit and everything. I also desire to put up my own hotel as a business. Imagining what the future looks like is my hobby. I want to get married at the age of 28 and having two or three children is enough for me.
Talking about friends, I have plenty of them. I have friends in school, in the neighborhood and friends since high school. I’m thankful to have them. I enjoy being with them because I feel free. They can make me laugh in just little ways. I just love being with them. For me, loosing a friend really hurts that’s why I really value my friends.